Judge Me. I'm disgusting.

Mar 02

6 months later..

Ha I wish I had something dead positive about being kilos lighter! Hate myself :’(
I’ve joined a gym, not that I’ve been yet but it was only yesterday.. I joined weight watchers too. Hopefully the shame will keep me on track.
Counting calories got me nowhere. Wish me luck :)

Mar 02
Sep 01
joanneeeeee:

dingyfeathers:

fluffypaws:

lololfaggottron:

fluffypaws:

littlestonedfox:

youmaybetriggered:

fluffypaws:

lololfaggottron:

fluffypaws:

lololfaggottron:

Jesus! A girl with piercings and tattoos, and curtains that definitely don’t match the drapes… This is so fucking original!

ugh your life must be so fun

Honestly, it seems better than the millions of mindless morons on here. I’ll just wait for your white-knights now. 

Lol get a grip. How does one look “original” then?

 If this girl does not look ‘original’ then someone must have changed what that word means

No, I completely agree, she looks like every other hipster scene kid on tumblr.

Do you realise your comments come up on my dashboard? Don’t fucking reblog my face if you don’t fucking like it. I’m double the age of all the ‘hipster’ dicks on here and I certainly aren’t fucking scene. Jesus christ. Why don’t you come on my blog and come and see that infact I am a normal girl with normal feelings and I do what I do because it makes me happy, stop putting me into some stupid fucking category you negative bitch.

Be yourself? It’s not so damn hard, I don’t understand why people try being original by putting themselves under different labels. I guess it’s because one label constantly stays, stupidity. I’m not saying you’re stupid, and unlike how your white-knights misinterpreted, I’m not saying you’re ugly or anything. You put yourself in a category though, I don’t know why this is creating a shit storm when all I did was tell the truth.

I don’t understand. Now you’re saying I’m not being myself? I am being myself. What do you want me to do? Grow an elephant trunk and grow boobs on my head?
I’m 21 in 3 weeks and I’ve been like this since I was 13. I won’t change just because I’m not original. Nobody is?Please just stop, because you’re basically trying to say I shouldn’t be me. 

I don’t get why people are like “oh she’s so original with her piercings  and tattoos” (sarcastically) but yet people who are saying this look  like every other average looking person. So I guess you’re very original  yourself.

what the fuck people are so rude

Either way, she’s fit as fuck.

joanneeeeee:

dingyfeathers:

fluffypaws:

lololfaggottron:

fluffypaws:

littlestonedfox:

youmaybetriggered:

fluffypaws:

lololfaggottron:

fluffypaws:

lololfaggottron:

Jesus! A girl with piercings and tattoos, and curtains that definitely don’t match the drapes… This is so fucking original!

ugh your life must be so fun

Honestly, it seems better than the millions of mindless morons on here. I’ll just wait for your white-knights now. 

Lol get a grip. How does one look “original” then?

 If this girl does not look ‘original’ then someone must have changed what that word means

No, I completely agree, she looks like every other hipster scene kid on tumblr.

Do you realise your comments come up on my dashboard? Don’t fucking reblog my face if you don’t fucking like it. I’m double the age of all the ‘hipster’ dicks on here and I certainly aren’t fucking scene. Jesus christ. Why don’t you come on my blog and come and see that infact I am a normal girl with normal feelings and I do what I do because it makes me happy, stop putting me into some stupid fucking category you negative bitch.

Be yourself? It’s not so damn hard, I don’t understand why people try being original by putting themselves under different labels. I guess it’s because one label constantly stays, stupidity. I’m not saying you’re stupid, and unlike how your white-knights misinterpreted, I’m not saying you’re ugly or anything. You put yourself in a category though, I don’t know why this is creating a shit storm when all I did was tell the truth.

I don’t understand. Now you’re saying I’m not being myself? I am being myself. What do you want me to do? Grow an elephant trunk and grow boobs on my head?

I’m 21 in 3 weeks and I’ve been like this since I was 13. I won’t change just because I’m not original. Nobody is?

Please just stop, because you’re basically trying to say I shouldn’t be me. 

I don’t get why people are like “oh she’s so original with her piercings and tattoos” (sarcastically) but yet people who are saying this look like every other average looking person. So I guess you’re very original yourself.

what the fuck people are so rude

Either way, she’s fit as fuck.

Sep 01
vmedics:

Generic Xenical (Orlistat, Xenical® equivalent)
Xenical is a gastrointestinal lipase inhibitor used in the  management of obesity in adult and adolescent patients age 12 and older.  This medicine may be used during the weight loss phase or following  weight loss to assist in weight management. Generic Xenical works by  inhibiting the digestion of fats from the diet, and should be used with a  reduced-calorie diet.

vmedics:

Generic Xenical (Orlistat, Xenical® equivalent)

Xenical is a gastrointestinal lipase inhibitor used in the management of obesity in adult and adolescent patients age 12 and older. This medicine may be used during the weight loss phase or following weight loss to assist in weight management. Generic Xenical works by inhibiting the digestion of fats from the diet, and should be used with a reduced-calorie diet.

Sep 01

Blehhhh

So. Around two weeks ago i started taking Xenical. After about 8 days I lost about a pound which i thought was okay seeing as I’d barely dieted and done fuck all exercise. It was quite an exciting result!

But in the last week, i’ve stuck to what i thought was dieting and done a little more exercise and i’ve just put back on a pound and a half! :’(

I think it’s carbs. These pills block fat and deter you from eating much but i must have over compensated… but without one or the other foods just awful!

I’ve not been watching my calorie intake as much as I should though either which probably hasn’t helped, they always say calories aren’t important, it’s about the quality of food you’re eating.. i’ve been living off stir frys and stuff with a lot of vegetables and low fat but I’ve clearly cocked up somewhere :( So i definitely have to put a lot more effort into counting calories. I’m allowing myself 1400 a day for now. purely because on the Xenical instructions it gives an example that if you eat 1400 calories a day, you can have around 15g of fat per meal before getting any undesirable side effects. I don’t know how to work out if it were higher or lower! but i’m going to allow myself around 100 calories extra when necessary without hating myself. 

This is so hard >.< I’m sick of the quality of food i’m gonna have to eat all the time! i’m eating oats right now. okay they’re not awful but i’m so sick of them!

oh yeah another big thing is I started a new job in a restaurant where I have to try everything on the menu. not helping. but once that’s out of the way I think I can resist the unhealthier items. I had to try a dish that was nearly 2000 calories! bleh. won’t be going back there!

i’m sorry, this is a terrible weight loss blog! someone else tell me you’re failing just as miserably, or even better that you were but you’ve found a way around it and you now have some amazing tips to share? anyone?

Aug 17

I’m back!

I know its stupid but I went too get medical help to lose weight and like the soft twat I am decided id drop the diet til I got my appointment. It’s been ages! But I had it last week and I’m not gonna let myself fuck myself over again. Thanks for sticking around! Proper update in the morn, its bed time!

Jul 07

RightOkayI’mStartingAgain.

I’m not doing a calorie diet because it’s shit and hard and i’m sick of being hungry.

I’m joining slimming world. Because I can eat as much as I fucking like of veggies and stuff. And lean meat. And rice! I was getting scarily obsessed with weighing  everything, constantly starving and just not enjoying my meals. Now the only thing I’m cutting down on really is bread. 

I’m gonna go to meetings and shit because I need support.

 

Jul 01

Silly

I’ve convinced myself I’m drinking too much water and now I’m too scared to drink it! Haha what a knob! How much should I drink and how much is too much?

I’m sat in nandos where I’ve just had 5 wings and a corn in the cob for less than 500 calories! Win! I’m not entirely full if I’m honest but full full enough to keep til I get home and can have like a banana or something :)

I had a banana and an apple for breakfast, just over 150 calories. Ive about 600 for the rest of the day but I’m gonna go see a friend who lives like a 300 calorie walk away so I can eat loads and loads of veggies with dinner :)

Jun 30

Today

I ate around 1000 calories and burnt like 400.

I didn’t mean to go so low, just gotta figure out how to pace myself better :)

Jun 28

Right, okay, I’m back in the game.

After a disgusting week. I wouldn’t mind but I had no meal satisfaction like I thought I’d get and I have really bad constant heartburn. It’s good, I’m glad my bodys punishing me for being such a vile PIG. I bought these legs you attatch to the wii balance board that mean when you use it not on carpet it has more accurate readings. So, my current weight is: 242 pounds. Hideous, I know. I’m considering this my start weight because it wasn’t too accurate before.. only 124 pounds to go! Ugh that’s so gross. I’m like two people. That’s just sick. :(

Jun 27

reblog

PLEASE REBLOG IF YOU CURRENTLY OR HAVE PREVIOUSLY WEIGHED AROUND 200 POUNDS OR MORE. I THINK WE CAN INSPIRE EACHOTHER :)

Jun 27

wilsonthemoose:

iminrepairandgettingthere:

I wanna find people who are not in school anymore to follow.  I feel like I’m the oldest person with a fitblr type thing that I’ve seen so far!

REBLOG if you are out of college and a fitblr/thinspo.  I’ll follow you!

That would be me.

I’m well old for tumblr, follow me!

Jun 26
This was me for the last week or something =&#8217;(

oh the gif doesn&#8217;t seem to be working..? this isn&#8217;t actually me, I&#8217;m much prettier.

This was me for the last week or something =’(

oh the gif doesn’t seem to be working..? this isn’t actually me, I’m much prettier.

Jun 26

Right, fine, I’d best stop hiding from you now.

urgh.

I went away for a few days, we went down to the coast to celebrate my birthday. a load of friends and I.. I thought okay, I’m not going to be too strict. I’m not going to count calories because i want to enjoy my birthday celebrations, it’s a one off. we were walking a lot too so i figured i shouldn’t go too over.
stupid mistake!
threw myself into the mentality that it didn’t matter what or how much I ate, it was only a few days!
of course, it wasn’t though.
I got back and tried, i ended up having around 1800 calories. I worked some off too but nowhere near enough. And I was starving.
The day after, I had around 1500 whilst burning 250, so it seemed i was back on track. but i was starving later and had to eat chocolate.

Last night I went to see katy perry (who was awesome by the way!) but we ended up going for a meal, of course i had the steak.
Today, I got awoken to a massive, cooked, high in fat breakfast. grrrrrrrr

I like how easy i’m finding it to be so honest, I love my secret blog.
ha you’re now getting a lot more attention than my personal.. although this one isn’t as hilarious of course.

I’m not home today and I don’t have access to my usual safety net foods. I’m going to start fresh tomorrow. BUT I am not allowed to use this as an excuse to binge today. probably will though


=(

Jun 26

Cross what you have done →

I have/had piercings besides the ears.
I want piercings besides the ears.
I have many scars.
I tan easily.
I wish my hair was a different color.
I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.
I have/want a tattoo.
I can be self-conscious about my appearance.
I have/had braces.
I have more than two piercings.

Embarrassment
Disney movies still make me cry.
I’ve laughed so hard I’ve cried.
I’ve glued my hand to something.
I’ve laughed until some kind of beverage came out of my nose.
I’ve had my pants rip in public.
I’ve touched something sharp/hot/etc to see if it would hurt.

Health
I’ve gotten stitches.
I’ve broken or dislocated a bone.
I’ve had my tonsils removed.
I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed.
I’ve had chicken pox.

Travel
I’ve been to Florida.
I’ve driven/ridden over 200 kilometres in one day.
I’ve been on a plane.
I’ve been to Colombia.
I’ve been to Cuba.
I’ve been to Niagara Falls.
I’ve been to Ottawa
I’ve been to the Caribbean.
I’ve been to Europe.

Experiences
I’ve gotten lost in my city.
I’ve seen a shooting star.
I’ve wished on a shooting star.
I’ve seen a meteor shower.
I’ve gone out in public in my pyjamas.
I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
I’ve slapped someone.
I’ve kissed someone underwater.
I’ve chugged something.
I’ve crashed a car
I’ve been skiing.
I’ve been in a musical.
I’ve auditioned for something.
I’ve been on stage.
I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue.
I’ve sat on a rooftop at night.
I’ve pranked someone.
I’ve ridden in a taxi.

Honesty / Crime
I’ve been threatened to be arrested.
I’ve broken a law.
I’ve done something I promised someone I wouldn’t.
I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.
I’ve sneaked out.
I’ve lied about my whereabouts.
I’ve cheated while playing a game.
I’ve been in a fist fight.

Death
I’m afraid of dying.
I hate funerals.
I’ve seen someone/something die.
Someone close to me has attempted/committed suicide.
I’ve thought about suicide before…
I’ve written a eulogy for myself.

Materialism

I own over 5 rap CDs.
I’m obsessed with anime/manga
I collected comic books.
I own a lot of makeup.
I own something from Pac Sun.
I own something from The Gap.
I own something I got on E-Bay.
I own something from Abercrombie.
I thrive on compliments.
I thrive on hate.

Random
I can sing well 
I’ve stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
I open up to others easily.
I watch the news occasionally or always.
I don’t like to kill bugs.
I sing in the shower.
I’m a morning person.
I’m a sports fanatic.
I twirl my hair.
I care about grammar.
I love spam.
I’ve copied more than 30 CDs in a day.
I bake well.
My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink ,blue, red, black, purple, or orange.
I would wear pyjamas to school.
I like Martha Stewart.
I laugh at my own jokes.
I eat fast food weekly.
I’ve not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
I can’t sleep if there’s a spider in the room.
I’m really ticklish.
I like white chocolate.
I bite my nails.
I’m good at remembering faces.
I’m good at remembering names.
I’m good at remembering dates.
I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.

People
ask if I’m anorexic/bulimic.
call me fat.
say I’m skinny.
say I’m ugly.
have said I’m pretty.
spread rumors about me.
force me to eat.
say I eat too much.
say I eat too little.

Eating
I’ve lost weight.
I’ve gained weight.
I’m at my thinnest.
I’m at my biggest.
I’ve lost weight and kept it off. 
I’ve lost weight but gained it back
My weight affects my mood.
I diet.
I’m vegan/vegetarian.
I exercise.
I’ve fainted from exhaustion 

Family
I’ve sworn at my parents.
I’ve planned to run away from home before.
I’ve run away from home.
My biological parents are together.
I have a sibling less than one year old.
I want kids.
I’ve had kids.
I’ve lost a child.

Relationships
I’m single.
I’m in a relationship.
I’m engaged.
I’m a swinger.
I’ve gone on a blind date.
I have/had a friend with benefits.
I miss someone right now.
I have a fear of abandonment.
I’ve gotten divorced.
I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.
Someone has had feelings for me when I didn’t have them back.
I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.
I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.
I’ve kept something from a past relationship.

Sexuality
I’m a cuddler.
I’ve been kissed in the rain.
I’ve hugged a stranger.
I’ve kissed a stranger.

Bad times
I regularly drink.
I can’t swallow pills.
I can swallow numerous pills at a time without difficulty.
I’ve been diagnosed with clinical depression at some point.
I have/had anxiety problems.
I shut others out when I’m upset.
I don’t have anyone to talk to when I’m upset.
I take anti-depressants.
I’ve slept an entire day before.
I’ve plotted revenge